The Fat B and Bro Show Awards

Here is the list of who took home what awards on this years Fat B and Bro Award Show:

Muscle Mass of the Year: Panzer Pat

Asshole of the Year: Bro's dog Sandy

Twolt of the Year: Albanian women Fat B works with

Driver of the Year: Ryan Dunn

Mustache of the Year: Mustache Man

Drinker of the Year: Jake the Snake Roberts

Drug Binge of the Year: Mark Thompson, aka Bath Salt Guy

Real American of the Year: Earl Hibbard

Employee of the Year: Aarons manager who Jeraped a fellow employee. What's Jeraped? Listen to find out.

Saddest of the Year: Hulk Hogan

Best Porn Site of the Year: Google

MILF of the Year: Natalie Portman

Nude Celeb of the Year: Scarlett Johansson

Parent of the Year: Guy that choked out his kid while watching wrestling

Russell of the Year: Russell Yankovitch

Jail Bait of the Year: Cast of Victorious

Internet Radio Show of the Year: The Fat B and Bro Show

Kunt of the Year: Jenny

Fuck Up of the Year: Harold Camping, Predicted the Rapture...twice.

Lifetime Achievement of the Year: Thomas Rosales Jr.

Santa's Changes To Christmas

Santa's Changes to Christmas

Anyone not abiding by these rule changes will be immediately placed on the naughty list!

-$1 must be included with any letter sent to Santa. CASH ONLY!

-There will be no more coal given to the naughty children. Instead, Santa will be taking presents left by mom and dad for the naughty kids and given to the nice kids.

-All cookies left for Santa must be home made. NO STORE BOUGHT COOKIES.

-Do not leave milk out. Santa hates nothing more than luke warm milk. If a beverage is desired, Santa will help himself to your fridge. A bottle of chilled whiskey in the freezer will help keep Santa warm.

-All bathrooms must have a roll of double ply cuddle soft TP along with some reading material.

-Any roof with lights on the roof will be passed and never visited again. This is for Santa's safety as well as his deer. We lost Donner last Christmas and teaching a deer to fly is very expensive!

Santa thanks all of you for following these rule changes and making Christmas a safer and more pleasurable night. Again, if you fail to follow these rules Santa will place those kids onto the naughty list and take their presents. 

What Radio Should Be

On a recent Fat B and Bro Show, we talked about what we felt radio should be. We agreed the power of song selection should be in the hands of the jock. Let the DJs personality show through the music he/she plays as well as what they say. Whats more appealing, a station that will give you the same music they played yesterday hell the previous hour, or one you can tune in and not have any idea what you're going to hear. I'm not saying a DJ employed at a rock station should bust out some Goodie Mob, stay within the format but play what you feel the people want to hear. Make DJs music trend setters, not some guy in a tie demanding PD's pump out the same cookie cutter crap because its what THEY think the people want. If a new song comes out and it's actually good, I'm sure it'll get played, just not at nauseum. Just think of how many different bands people can be introduced to. And if people are turned off by what a DJ chooses to play and begin tuning out, someone will be out of a job. Some will say listen to an MP3 player, ok, what if I want personality with my music or maybe a band/artist I've never heard of. A station where the music isn't on repeat, that's the station I want to listen to.

Things I probably did at the Halloween party I went to last weekend.

Just a few things that i'm sure happened to me at the Halloween party I went to Saturday.

1. Appeared as "drunk guy in background" in about 20 pictures.

2. Drank beers that weren't mine because I couldn't find the ones I brought, or because there was people standing in front of the cooler.

3. Got caught peeing outside and ran away.

4. Held "Kurt Cobain's" guitar for 15 minutes while he took some empty cans somewhere.

5. Talked to someone I haven't seen in a long time and said weird things and/or spit all over them.

6. Made fun of someone not realizing they were right behind me.

7. Looked creepy

8. During a conversation, asked someone what their name was a dozen times.

9. Stumbled

10. Got home, fell asleep, woke up and couldn't find my clothes.

Amy Winehouse Dead

Amy Winehouse was found dead this morning in her London home. Some speculate she died from a drug overdose. Why do they jump to drugs right away?  Maybe she was licking envelopes which contained invites to her "Been Clean for a Month" Party. Come on, we've all seen that Seinfeld episode. That glue can be toxic. What if she was looking out her window while crocheting an afghan for her dear grandmother when all of a sudden she saw a car driving recklessly up the street where a child was playing and while trying to dash out of her house to push the child away from danger she slipped on paper laying on her carpeted floor and hit her head on a table. Paper on carpet is very slippery and with her being a musician, it's very possible she was working on some new songs about achieving soberness before working on her grandmothers afghan. All I'm saying is there are so many different events that could have ended this young talents life. Ok, fine, she was probably licking acid sheets while driving a go kart through her house, crashed it into a wall while trying to light a crack pipe. Yeah...that seems more likely.

Dad you Suk

My son and I were in his room watching cartoons. When the cartoon went to commercial I asked him to pick up some toys. He said, "Dad! I don't want to!" I told him if he didn't I was going to turn off his TV and make him clean my room too. So angerly he picked up his toys, mean mugging me the entire time. Cartoons came back on and he said he wanted to practice writing. So he started jotting some stuff onto his notebook. He'd ask how to spell something and I'd help him sound it out. He asked how to spell dad, I told him to sound it out, he did. He asked, "Dad, is you Y-O-U?" I said yes. "Dad" he asked, "how do you spell suck?"....I swear the boy can be a handful. But moments like that, where he can be a butt head in such a humorous way make some priceless memories.

Jim Tressel Stirs The Pot One Last Time

It's been a joyful week-plus for Michigan fans, with the apparent fall of the Ohio State football empire highlighted by the resignation of coach Jim Tressel. Sure, it may not take away from his 9-1 record against the Wolverines and the memories from those 10 years of misery. But the reason it's a joyous occasion is because the charges against Ohio State and Tressel simply serve as vindication for the Maize and Blue faithful: You cheated. You found it necessary to cheat to beat us. We had our suspicions all along, and now you're getting your comeuppance.

Tressel fired one last salvo at Michigan when a couple hundred loser Buckeye fans gathered at his house. Tressel addressed the crowd thusly:

After a crowd of some 200 people had sung a song disparaging the archrival Wolverines early Saturday evening, Tressel said, “Don’t forget: Nov. 27th we’re going to kick their ass!”

Oh... you DO NOT talk shit about Michigan on your way out after potentially murdering your program!!! I see assholes like you everyday! EVERY FUCKING DAY! You think it's all cool, like... "Woooo, let's talk some more shit about UM." You're not going to get away with this. Not up in here.

NOT UP IN HERE!!!!!!