Santa's Changes to Christmas
Anyone not abiding by these rule changes will be immediately placed on the naughty list!
-$1 must be included with any letter sent to Santa. CASH ONLY!
-There will be no more coal given to the naughty children. Instead, Santa will be taking presents left by mom and dad for the naughty kids and given to the nice kids.
-All cookies left for Santa must be home made. NO STORE BOUGHT COOKIES.
-Do not leave milk out. Santa hates nothing more than luke warm milk. If a beverage is desired, Santa will help himself to your fridge. A bottle of chilled whiskey in the freezer will help keep Santa warm.
-All bathrooms must have a roll of double ply cuddle soft TP along with some reading material.
-Any roof with lights on the roof will be passed and never visited again. This is for Santa's safety as well as his deer. We lost Donner last Christmas and teaching a deer to fly is very expensive!
Santa thanks all of you for following these rule changes and making Christmas a safer and more pleasurable night. Again, if you fail to follow these rules Santa will place those kids onto the naughty list and take their presents.
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